I like things that aren’t good for me. Especially the three Bs — booze, bacon and butter. (Wait, make it 4 — better add ‘boys.’) Two of those items are available deep-fried at the Orange County Fair, and where deep-fried butter (garlic or cinnamon) and bacon go, can deep-fried martinis be far behind?
Scoff if you must, but deep-fried Oreos (DFOs) are druckin’ delicious. And why wouldn’t they be? As my mom astutely pointed out, it’s basically a doughnut (hush puppy, fritter, etc.) golden and crisp on the outside, fluffy and cake-like on the inside, filled with a warm, melty Oreo. YUM.
I took that little red basket DOWN. Final tally on the DFOs: Debra, 2.5. Awesome pal Chi, 1.5. In fairness, he’d already eaten one of these:
I can’t BELIEVE I’m posting this, people. I hope you feel the love, because that picture is blackmail worthy. Thanks, Chi, for taking my picture and letting me hold your weiner.
ANYWAY. As I was saying. Corn dogs make people smile. As Chi said, maybe we should just rain corn dogs down on Iran. Everyone would be so fat and happy. We would look like heroes now, and have the last laugh later when everyone dies of heart disease brought on by obesity. Welcome to our world, skinny Middle Easterners! Better look into a plus-size caftan and an extra-sturdy camel.
And speaking of plus-size:
We also put a big dent in a huge portion of Australian battered potatoes with (what else!) ranch dressing, nacho cheese and a side of sweet chili sauce, just like I used to love in New Zealand!
Somewhere during this pig-out of epic proportion, we squeezed in a pig race:
Why don’t they take bets on this thing?! My favorite little girl pig Strawberry won it ALL! I like to think that maybe the farmer will spare her now, like Wilbur or Babe. (She’s a celebrity! She’s hit the pig time and she’s gonna hog the spotlight.)
The sweet faces of ALL the animals made me wish most sincerely that cheeseburgers and lamb kabobs would stop tasting so good.
But what can I say — I like bacon and baby-back ribs. I like them a lot.