I know, enough already! You get it! Mother Drucker went to Hawaii and all you got was a stupid blog post! I just don’t want you to miss out on tasty treats like tender, slow-cooked pork, deep-fried Portuguese doughnuts, and spicy mahi mahi tacos. Okay?! I DO IT ALL FOR YOU.
Let’s start with melt-in-your-mouth malasadas from local legend, Leonard’s Bakery:
I wanted these SO BADLY that I actually took a city bus, something I’ve NEVER done in LA. You can get your warm, fresh-from-the-fryer malasadas filled with a chocolatey pudding (not so much), fruit, custard, or my favorite — plain, with a crunchy coating of cinnamon sugar. (They remind me of the ‘doughnuts‘ my sister learned to make at camp with a tube of Pillsbury biscuits. IT WORKS. Try it!)
They smelled so heavenly that I was diggin’ into my half dozen as I walked back to the bus, licking my greasy fingers, loving every second of it, when I saw this place and remembered a favorable review:
Ono Hawaiian Foods normally has a line out the door and down the block. The place probably seats 15 people at most. When I peered in the window and found the dining room nearly empty, I knew I had to go in and try their famous pork lau lau. (Even though I’d eaten dessert first.)
To make lau lau, pork is wrapped in taro leaves and steamed on the stove. The pork fat keeps the meat super tender, juicy and flavorful. There’s a squeeze bottle of ‘chili water’ on the table — good but could’ve been even hotter. Prepare yourself. It ain’t pretty:
I know. It’s hideous. HIDEOUSLY DELICIOUS. I ate the whole thing, and the slimy, pork-flavored leaves, too. (Kinda like Hawaiian collard greens.) Even my waiter was astonished when I finished it. I believe he looked at me with newfound respect.
Finally, for a good time, call Duke’s in Waikiki Beach. (I love the Malibu version, too.) I spent a long, happy Saturday afternoon day-drinking, listening to the fantastic live band, drunkenly dancing to re-interpreted classics like Van Morrison’s ‘Brown-Eyed Girl’ and feasting on fish tacos:
My vow to only eat fresh fish, fruit, veggies and vodka lasted until Monday night, when this exhausted Chicago girl was ready for pizza and pay-per-view. (Right?! It’s the best.) And that’s all I have to say about that. Promise.