LA Derby Dolls Raise a Druckis

Just back from a weekend in Chicago, and I have a few things to say about that. But first, we gotta go back in time. (Swirly TV time machine motion, whooo oooo oooo music.)

You could be in the next match if you are female, over 21, with medical insurance.

That’s right. We’re talking about the LA Derby Dolls and their rough & tumble facility, the Doll Factory. Went with awesome pal Chi awhile back for a birthday party, and it was VERY entertaining. (Whether it was entertaining enough to turn into a movie, only box office returns can tell.) The Doll Factory is located in suitably gritty Silver Lake, which is still in the process of gentrifying. The Factory has one working bathroom (from what I could tell) and upscale port-a-potties in the parking lot. (Um. GROSS.)

I’m not going to lie. It’s down & dirty. But this is more UFC than PGA. More serious smackdown than genteel golf clap. It’s friendly. It’s fun. And it’s a free-for-all:

Pumpin' up the Jammer.

One girl (called the Jammer), wearing a special star condom-cap thingie over her helmet, has 60 seconds (called a Jam) to work her way through the pack as many times as she can. The other team tries to block her, her team tries to help her. That’s really about it.

Would I go back? Eh. If I had a free VIP ticket guaranteeing a seat. (Stand for $20, sit for $42. OUCH.) Half-time was way too long and clearly calculated to bore you into buying what my dad would call dreck, but what the Derby Dolls call retail revenue. I did gain a new girl crush on San Diego Swarm skater, Kung Pow Tina:

Kung Pow Tina. How cute is she?! Couldn't you just eat her UP?!

Our birthday girl named her mostly South Bay posse of pals the “Beach City Brawlers” and very kindly made t-shirts for everyone, which we duly wore and which she’d blazoned with creative skater names just for us. (I was Cousin Ruckis. But Mother Drucker would’ve worked, too.) I wish I could remember more of them. But we must move on to the most important picture of the day:

Gotta make room for 2010, baby!

I know I’m a total bandwagon jumper. And what? I’m from Chicago. Enduring those miserable 20+ winters means that I’m automatically in the fan club, no questions asked. Am I right? I just read this on Wiki:

The team has not won the Cup since 1961. This is the longest current cup drought in the NHL. At 49 years, it is the second longest Stanley Cup drought in NHL history.

But the haters are on notice now. GO HAWKS!!!!

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