Bad Druckin Dates and Doppelgangers

There’s been some Facebook fun recently focused on celebrity doppelgangers. You know. That scary moment when people say, “Do people tell you that you look like…?” and you realize your ego is either going to take flight or send you into a downward spiral involving a diet, nose/boob/dye job and/or an emergency session with ice cream/your therapist.

For example, I’m delighted when people tell me I look like this pretty lady:

"What I really love is when people tell me I look like Mother Drucker."

Not so happy with this one:

"We just want you to be healthy, by eating less. So go home, weigh yourself on a scale, write than down. Then subtract 20 from that number. And weigh that. Yeah."

No, not Heigl. Wiig. Who is a perfectly lovely gal when she isn’t playing a snarky, jealous douchette. But on what had to be the mother of all bad dates, the dude told me (in all seriousness) that not only did I look like Wiig in Knocked Up, I have the same personality. (!!!)

Then he tells me that his dream is to live in Venice, as close the medical marijuana clinic as possible. (What’s so special about that one, by the way? This is LA. There’s one on every corner.)Β  And good call on the first date confession, pal — because every woman wants a man whose loftiest ambition is to stay as lofty as possible.

Now I don’t want to say in what Hollywood juke-joint this horror story went down. But I will give you a hint:

This is neither a picture of me nor my celebrity doppelganger.

But wait. It gets worse. Randomly, maybe because he was feeling vulnerable after his wakey bakey confession, he goes in to hug me and tries to grope some side-boob on the way. I shut him down. He tries again. Rejected, again. I see dudes around the bar watching and gleefully mouthing the word, “DENIED!”

He gets up to go to the bathroom saying, and I quote, “I’m really sorry for whatever happened that makes you so afraid to be touched, your emotional scars.” SERIOUSLY.

So let this be a lesson to us all, male and female: If you attempt to hug a person you barely know, and they push you away so hard you almost fall off your chair — it’s not that they don’t like hugging. It’s that they don’t like YOU. So move along, little doggie. Move along.

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8 Comments

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8 responses to “Bad Druckin Dates and Doppelgangers

  1. You so look like Robin (except your prettier). I can’t see the Kristin resemblance at all, but I love her, she is brilliant.

    • debra

      awwww you are too good to me!!! and you are SO right, ms. wiig is a comedy genius. and she’s pretty too! just not in that role when she has to be all pinched and hateful! πŸ™‚

  2. Lisa

    I love it. That’s so awesome and you do look like her. I won’t even list of the doppelgangers I have been compared to. I cringe when I’m by myself in the elevator.

    • debra

      ha! you are just gorgeous — and i can’t even think of one actress who even comes close… nope. still can’t think of one! plus you are one of the smartest gals i know and it means so much to know you’re checkin’ in w/mother D. please continue to do so! πŸ™‚

      • Lisa

        I get a younger version of Felicity Huffman all the time. The former babysitter of my children just announced that to all on my FB page. I must invest in some anti-aging cream stat!

      • debra

        i don’t see that AT ALL. you look nothing like her. and i’m glad that babysitter is ‘former.’ πŸ™‚ i’m thinking maybe you’re bit like a prettier kristen bell?

  3. Jeff K

    This post was full of awesomeness πŸ™‚ You are much prettier than Robin Penn. I love how that dude was D-E-N-I-E-D!

    • debra

      awww thanks sugar. i had a helluva day and you just made it about 1 billion times brighter. i’m a lucky girl to know good guys like you to soften the blows from the bad ones! thx for reading. πŸ™‚

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