Bloody Umami Burgers and Happy Turdrucken Day!

Umami burger? More like Uma... meh.

In honor of Umami Burger’s pseudo-Japanese leanings, a haiku:

Umami Burger,
Oh, how you disappoint me.
Tiny ketchup spoon.

It wasn’t bad. I had the MANLY Burger (b/c I am from Chicago and like to watch football), which is described as beer-cheddar cheese, smoked salt onion strings (good!) and bacon lardons. Pal Dan had the signature Umami burger, and big, fluffy onion rings with a tiny spoonful of ketchup. (It’s house-made, so you have to pay for another spoonful. No, I’m not kidding. And don’t call me Shirley.)

They don’t ask you for a temp preference so I’m guessing they are all served rare unless otherwise specified — and by rare I mean the squishy, buttery bottom bun was resting in a puddle of BLOOD. Overall — average, and NO LIQUOR LICENSE. Worth going back? Nope.

Dan (bless him) asks that I point out the portion size was actually perfect. Unlike the usual American belly-bomber that tops out at 1/2 lb. and probably 1400 calories, this left us feeling pleasantly full but not stuffed like a turdrucken. My favorite burger at The Cheesecake Factory, the Tons of Fun (it’s a name AND a cautionary tale!) is apparently 1563 calories.

WHOOP. There it is.

I, for one, am not on the umami as ‘fifth taste’ bandwagon, but if you want to learn more, this link is informative and this one is propaganda. I think umami may be a viral marketing-type ploy by the clever Kikkoman folks, but maybe after all these years on the inside (imprisoned as an advertising copywriter, nickname: Tons of Fun) my default mode is skeptical.

And speaking of TONS OF FUN, I am heading home to Chicago tomorrow morning — hooray! — and won’t be back ’til Monday. So until then my little Drucklings, I wish you the happiest of Thanksgiving holidays. May your martini/wine/moonshine glass always be full, and may all your pies be perfect. L’chaim!

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “Bloody Umami Burgers and Happy Turdrucken Day!

  1. Christelle

    1563 calories?! Nooooo!! And why did I just have to look up my other favorite (the grilled shrimp & bacon club)? 1643 calories…
    This is a good reminder that what you don’t know CAN hurt you…r arteries.

  2. Christelle

    P.S.: Yet another funny entry of yours about food… Love it! 🙂

    • debra

      thanks ma belle cherie! i hope you enjoyed your american holiday and partook in some of our native ugly bird. 😉 we must do holiday cocktails soon! peut-etre jeudi? or next tuesday?

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